Afraid to Hope

Had a bad day. Car wouldn’t start, so I waited for an hour and a half for someone to come jumpstart the car. He was very helpful and very nice, but it may not be the battery. Anyway, I got home starving because I didn’t end up eating breakfast or lunch either. I was so lightheaded that we just went for takeout, and when we got home, Sophie had messed the carpet. Great. So, bad enough. But when I was cleaning it up, I noticed large amounts of blood.

In a panic, I called Sophie’s vet, who of course, wanted me to bring her in. Of course, the car would not start again, so I begged them for advice because I don’t have a car. They want to try putting her on a bland diet for a couple of days to see if it might just be an infection. If it gets worse, obviously, I’ll take her to the vet regardless. But this is a whole new problem that’s worse than my old car. My worst fear is that her cancer has spread. I can only hope she has more time than I’m afraid of, but I’m also afraid to hope. I keep being let down. Life has really beaten me down in the past several months, and it’s hard to be optimistic.

The only good thing is that my friends and family are very supportive. However, they have major issues of their own right now, which I’ve mentioned previously that I will not get into. But I want to be there for them, and that means I have to take care of myself. Not sure what that means when I can’t take a break of any kind at present, but I’m trying.

Anyway, that’s where things stand. I’m terrified and stressed and sad. I don’t want to lose my baby girl. 💔

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: