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Back to my schedule

Although I’ve suffered losses recently, life doesn’t really allow you to take a break. You move on. Even when it hurts.

But in this case, it’s a book signing. The last one was fun and, despite my stress level, I enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to meeting some potential readers, and I hope you’ll join me at The Twig Bookshop on April 15. Details are on The Twig’s website or on my Upcoming Appearances page.

Also, my appearance on the Writers’ Parachute podcast has been rescheduled and will be recorded in May. I’ll post more when I have the air date. Looking forward to speaking with Donna Cowan, and I hope you’ll tune in.

I’m still working on my schedule, and I’ll update my page when I have updates. Right now, I don’t want to overload myself when I’m still not feeling one hundred percent. But I think it will help me to distract myself.

One last thing: if you’ve read either of my current books, I would very much appreciate a good review. Thanks so much, as always. Hearing that someone enjoyed one of my books always makes me happy.

Ashes

After the funeral, I got a text that Sophie’s ashes were back at the vet. So, my baby girl is home again.

Sophie’s urn, carved cedar box
Sophie’s paw print

Funeral

Tomorrow morning, I’m going to the funeral of another family member lost this year. So far, it’s been one tragedy after another, one crisis after crisis. I don’t want to post about it too much, but times are definitely challenging.

I’m not sure when I’ll get Sophie’s ashes back, but I’ll at least post a pic of the paw print. Will miss her more than words can say. She was a bright ray of sunshine everywhere she went. It’s hard not to miss that when it’s gone.

Family is everything, and I’m sad that we had another loss. I don’t know that I’ll be able to post anything tomorrow, but please hug your loved ones and let them know how you feel. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Make sure you take advantage of every moment.

Sophie’s life in pictures

This is a video tribute I made for my darling Sophie. Miss her terribly, and I hurt all over from crying. Will never forget her. She was the best girl.

Sophie’s life in pictures video tribute

Sophie 2015-2023

So not long enough, but I said goodbye to Sophie today. The mass in her chest was pressing on her heart and causing fluid to build up in her abdomen. As difficult as it was, I didn’t want her to suffer. Any treatment would have only bought her days, not years.

She was a very sweet girl who was loved by everyone she met. She never did anything bad, but very minor things. She was cuddly and cute and very affectionate. I can’t say how much I’ll miss her. She was a big part of my life. I can’t imagine being without her.

This is the last photo I ever took of her. I took it last night after she watched her favorite movie, The World’s End, and came over to cuddle with me. I was with her at the end. I held her in my arms one last time and kissed her and told her I loved her.

Sophie 3/12/2023

Might be a while before I post again. Please forgive me for any delays.

Trailers!

I posted these on my social media a few days ago, then I added them to my Written Works page here. However, I realized I never actually told anyone about that part, so I’m adding them here in a blog post. Both of these books should be out later this year.

First, I give you the trailer for The Blood Hotel, which is the sequel to Descent of the Vile.

Trailer for The Blood Hotel

Next is the trailer for my first sci-fi novella, The Chimera Gambit. It’s a standalone story I wrote about second chances and perception versus reality. I hope you will like it!

Trailer for The Chimera Gambit

I will update this blog when I have news, but there have been delays at my publisher, so I don’t know how long it will be. Thank you for your patience!

Some improvement

Sophie showed some improvement in the days following my last post. She’s a very happy girl, and she still really loves life. Be assured that, if things were different, I would not keep her with me. If she was truly suffering, I would make the sacrifice, as much as it would hurt me.

Keep in mind that Sophie has a regular vet and has regular appointments. I’m in frequent contact with them in between those appointments, and I will take their advice. At present, they have not discussed alternatives with me because Sophie is still relatively ok. Yes, she is terminally ill. But I am not going to prematurely cut her already too-short life even shorter.

I see her every day. Her vet sees her very frequently. Be assured that she is being looked after, and as long as she is comfortable, she will remain with me. She still seems joyful and excited about things far more often than not.

The only thing to stress is that I know it won’t be long. I know she’ll get very sick, more so than now, and I’ll have to say goodbye. My vet has told me some things to look out for, and I always call with any concerns, even small ones. She is getting the best care she could get with her condition. But Sophie will let me know when it’s time, and I’d like to listen to her and her vet, not anyone else.

Not good news

Sophie’s cancer has spread. It’s crushing her internal organs and possibly her esophagus. However, she still wants to eat, but we’ve got her still on the bland diet to calm her GI issues.

She’s also been on antibiotics and probiotics for the last 4 days. There has been virtually no change in her condition. Trying to add more fiber into the prescribed diet, but Sophie is resistant. She hates it. She only wants the chicken. Nothing else.

In another couple of days, the vet will call to reassess. At that point, we might have to accept that it’s likely the cancer impeding the blood flow to her other organs. I’m so hurt and scared. I don’t want her organs to shut down, don’t want to lose my baby.

For anyone following, I’ll keep you updated, even as it’s painful to write about. Good wishes are appreciated and welcomed. Thank you.

All the tough times

It’s amazing, but even when you’ve gone through certain things more than once, it never prepares you to go through it again. Today, although Sophie’s appointment isn’t until late this afternoon, he m reminded of all the people and pets I’ve lost who I loved dearly. I’m in agony over this. Terrified. Just please let it not be what I’m thinking. I can’t lose her now.

Even worse, I’ve been neglecting my own health in response to recent events, and I can’t seem to work in the doctor appointments that I need to make to get back on track. I’ll never be well, but I need to be able to manage my life, and that’s not happening at present.

Anyway, I’ll be able to deal with it if I can just get some good news in the midst of all the bad. Just let Sophie be ok.

Afraid to Hope

Had a bad day. Car wouldn’t start, so I waited for an hour and a half for someone to come jumpstart the car. He was very helpful and very nice, but it may not be the battery. Anyway, I got home starving because I didn’t end up eating breakfast or lunch either. I was so lightheaded that we just went for takeout, and when we got home, Sophie had messed the carpet. Great. So, bad enough. But when I was cleaning it up, I noticed large amounts of blood.

In a panic, I called Sophie’s vet, who of course, wanted me to bring her in. Of course, the car would not start again, so I begged them for advice because I don’t have a car. They want to try putting her on a bland diet for a couple of days to see if it might just be an infection. If it gets worse, obviously, I’ll take her to the vet regardless. But this is a whole new problem that’s worse than my old car. My worst fear is that her cancer has spread. I can only hope she has more time than I’m afraid of, but I’m also afraid to hope. I keep being let down. Life has really beaten me down in the past several months, and it’s hard to be optimistic.

The only good thing is that my friends and family are very supportive. However, they have major issues of their own right now, which I’ve mentioned previously that I will not get into. But I want to be there for them, and that means I have to take care of myself. Not sure what that means when I can’t take a break of any kind at present, but I’m trying.

Anyway, that’s where things stand. I’m terrified and stressed and sad. I don’t want to lose my baby girl. 💔

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